I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
