just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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