Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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