Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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