The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
