I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
