Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Less talking, more tequila
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
