I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
