my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
