I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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