Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
