the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
