Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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