My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
