Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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