well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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