If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
