She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
