i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
