This girl is more easily done than said...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
