I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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