Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
wow bdsm is so cute
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
