Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
should my penis look like a turkey
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
