I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
