That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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