HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Buhtt sex?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
