i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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