I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
