I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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