my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
