I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
