his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize
