i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
