booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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