Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
