When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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