tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
