that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
