We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
