i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
