farters have to be the big spoon...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
