She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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