at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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