He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
