but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
