they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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