I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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