Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
