Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
