omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
