white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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