I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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